Damiano Cunego Rant

I need to have a bit of a rant about professional cyclists. Yes, you may be physically fit, have great bodies (generally), and are very famous in your home countries/Europe... but I'm not sure how big your ego can seriously be. You are rolling around in too tight pants that highlight your junk in all the wrong ways... not unlike swimmers. Some cyclists find more fame than others (Tom Boonen - so much so he thought he could do cocaine and get away with it) - but for the most part, they're just hometown heroes.

That takes us to Damiano Cunego. Now - this guy won the Giro d'Italia a few years back when he was the tender age of 22 - which is great... but let's face it - he hasn't really done much since - let alone cowboy up and win the Tour de France like everyone thought he could. But this guy thinks he's AWESOME.

First - let's look at his hair. It's bleached blond. Let's take a look at where he's from - ITALY. Bleached blond hair is just absurd. Maybe brownish blond - but bleached?! Come on. You don't live in California... or anywhere else where this would be acceptable. It's just a ploy to get you to stand out more.


Let's look now at his website home page. If this doesn't say cocky son of a bitch - what does? "Look into my eyes! I am good looking!"


Now for his "Identity Card."

Let's break this down one by one. Height: 169 cm. That seems like he's pretty tall right... well convert that and he's only 5'5"... I think he's compensating for something. Okay, next - hair color - blond. We discussed this already. Eye color: CLEAR BLUE?! WHAT?! Just say blue, asshole.

And for the big one: "Distinguishing features: A WINNER!!!!" With 4 exclamation marks. Wow. This guy is a major douche bag.

And I thought he could win this Tour, or at least go top 5... what was I thinking.

And finally - yeah, good job - you won the stage. Don't rub it in. He's aware he lost. I love you Frank Schleck.